life is the bee's knees

okay so i really thought i was done venting but i haven't even properly talked about this to anyone so it makes complete sense that i'm still feeling stuff. i'm realising that maybe the reason why i'm feeling so terrible is because i've never failed when it mattered. i mean obviously i've failed tests throughout the semester but it never held as much weight so while i worried, i never really worried. even back in matriculation, i got bad results sometimes on quizzes and tests but i aced my finals. during spm, i wasn't top of the line or whatever but even i knew my end results were good. and i failed many times in high school.  factor in how my acca exams will ultimately determine what i do for the rest of my life (lol), this really couldn't be a worse time to start failing.  i just don't wanna have to go through failing like in those coming-of-age movies before i eventually figure stuff out. frankly, that sounds exhausting and i never really l...

let's just cut to the chase. this morning, i found out that i failed my ACCA tax paper and i'm feeling a lot of different things about it. i failed by literally 1 mark which is so frustrating because who doesn't hate the feeling of being so close yet so far. i woke up to a text from my tax lecturer asking about my marks which is kind of a big deal because she texted me first lol it's upsetting that i couldn't reply to her with good news. i'm gonna have to retake the test in september which brings with it a whole bucket of other anxieties. i never actually liked taxation and now i'm gonna have to do it again. i'm gonna have to pay to retake it again which is gonna cost me money. i'm gonna be delayed because they're probably not gonna let me take the two new papers this semester. i'm not gonna be in the same class as my friends. i'll have to expend more energy because i have a shorter time frame now. i'm probably gonna be boggled dow...

henlo yesterday (18 june 2019), i went on a day-out with my friends all over KL! we figured since nad is leaving soon for nz that we should get in as much time as we can with her.  i met up with them at mytown since i had a medical checkup for amcorp earlier that morning. i had a nice time travelling by public transport all alone and i'm pretty sure i saw nabila huda on the mrt. i arrived a little earlier because malaysian timing but also we're kinda terrible at coordinating times. once i arrived at mytown, i took a detour to ikea to get myself a hotdog; i love ikea hotdogs solely because of ikea's mustard. after eating at one of those tables without chairs at ikea's cafe i made my way to sushi jiro where they were having lunch. i barely ate anything there because i was still full from aunty gemok's kueh teow goreng that i had for breakfast. sidenote: i'm sad that i don't enjoy it as much as i used to. after finishing up on lunch, qiya got daboba an...

assalamualaikum. this is my second post of 2019 omg. for someone who always thinks a lot about putting her thoughts down into a comprehensible medium, i sure am terrible at rising to the occasion lmao. i'm realising that the purpose of me starting this blog and the way i use it (barely) now has changed somewhat. back then, i seemed to have a lot of emotions that i needed to unload just so i could focus on other stuff like school. but now, i've been thinking a lot about the past and realised how hard it is to remember the things i used to do and the way i used to feel. and that makes me a little sad. i managed to find a number of old diaries from my pre-teen years and had a lot of fun reading and remembering how dramatic i used to be. i want to be able to do that 10 years down the road about my 20-year-old self. i want to be able to see my growth. and this poorly kept blog is my attempt at making sure i get enough prime material to laugh at in a few years. hopefully...

assalamualaikum, omg it's been more than 8 months since my last blogpost and so much has happened since then! i mean, fgs i was still in PERAK when i wrote my last post. granted, it was during finals i.e. i was about to end my time there but still! when i say a lot has happened since my last update, i say that because it's obvious, a no-brainer. but if you were to ask me exactly what happened since april 2018, i would need to take several moments to tell you about the eight months after that. mainly because: i have terrible memory knowing item 1, i still fail to write things down because i forget how easily i forget 1 and 2 that being said, let me take some time out, sit down and try to remember all (read: some) of the things i've done since my last blogpost . huhu the first thing that i can think of is that i finished a 1-year course at KMPk with a CGPA of 4.00 ayyyyyyy and that i basically managed to survive living away from home for the first time in my lif...