life is the bee's knees

okay so i really thought i was done venting but i haven't even properly talked about this to anyone so it makes complete sense that i'm still feeling stuff. i'm realising that maybe the reason why i'm feeling so terrible is because i've never failed when it mattered. i mean obviously i've failed tests throughout the semester but it never held as much weight so while i worried, i never really worried. even back in matriculation, i got bad results sometimes on quizzes and tests but i aced my finals. during spm, i wasn't top of the line or whatever but even i knew my end results were good. and i failed many times in high school.  factor in how my acca exams will ultimately determine what i do for the rest of my life (lol), this really couldn't be a worse time to start failing.  i just don't wanna have to go through failing like in those coming-of-age movies before i eventually figure stuff out. frankly, that sounds exhausting and i never really l...

let's just cut to the chase. this morning, i found out that i failed my ACCA tax paper and i'm feeling a lot of different things about it. i failed by literally 1 mark which is so frustrating because who doesn't hate the feeling of being so close yet so far. i woke up to a text from my tax lecturer asking about my marks which is kind of a big deal because she texted me first lol it's upsetting that i couldn't reply to her with good news. i'm gonna have to retake the test in september which brings with it a whole bucket of other anxieties. i never actually liked taxation and now i'm gonna have to do it again. i'm gonna have to pay to retake it again which is gonna cost me money. i'm gonna be delayed because they're probably not gonna let me take the two new papers this semester. i'm not gonna be in the same class as my friends. i'll have to expend more energy because i have a shorter time frame now. i'm probably gonna be boggled dow...