life is the bee's knees

someone i follow quote tweeted this tweet with their red flags and i resonated too much with some of hers that it it was inevitable i'd try to think deeper about my own red flags LMAO this honestly pains me to do which i guess indicates a red flag in itself which is my inability for introspection and to admit i'm anything less than perfect. all that leads to my next red flag which is feeling extremely defensive whenever i'm confronted with something i may have done that made someone feel something negatively.  i am also deathly uncomfortable with confrontation so if i feel like someone is mad at me, i will say nothing to the point where the friendship dies out but i think i'm getting better at that because i have recently built myself up to ask two different friends about what i felt was them being standoffish. both of them said they weren't aware they were being standoffish which i guess is indicative of another red flag in that i'm constantly anxious that peop...

so it's coming into two weeks of my time back at uitm and OF COURSE it's not as bad as i was worrying about in my last blogpost. it never is lol but i needed to vent so sue me.  it's actually been really great because i'm getting so many steps in. i'm clocking in an average of like, 5k steps everyday. it's awesome. i'll have to tell Z he was right that i could just make myself like all the walking that i initially complained about in the first few days i was here. but i suck at telling other people they're right lmao what the hell is wrong with me. i'm still gonna try though, in the name of GROWTH. i've also been enjoying the company of N and W and their "onz" attitudes lmao re: our karaoke session yesterday that was absolutely following our whims after a great day of studying that's also another thing i've been (kinda) enjoying. despite being super comfy at home, i have also enjoyed the study sessions in the 24-hour room and on...

honestly speaking, this week has been great so far but of course my tendency to overthink things and stress has begun already because i'm thinking about how i'll finally have to go to physical classes next week which just feels so fucking soon and i'm incredibly upset about it. i kinda hate everything about having to go back to uitm–the commute, the having to be ferried around all the time, having to figure out transportation plans and inconveniencing people because i don't drive/have a car. it just fucking sucks but also i know i'm privileged enough to be able to participate in online classes because i have the resources to do it comfortably and my family is pretty understanding about me being holed up in my room for classes. i know other people are not as lucky which is why there was some demand to return to physical classes. but at this point, it has been more than two years of online classes for me and despite my issues in the early days, i've come to treasu...