eid day 4 stress vent

honestly speaking, this week has been great so far but of course my tendency to overthink things and stress has begun already because i'm thinking about how i'll finally have to go to physical classes next week which just feels so fucking soon and i'm incredibly upset about it.

i kinda hate everything about having to go back to uitm–the commute, the having to be ferried around all the time, having to figure out transportation plans and inconveniencing people because i don't drive/have a car.

it just fucking sucks but also i know i'm privileged enough to be able to participate in online classes because i have the resources to do it comfortably and my family is pretty understanding about me being holed up in my room for classes. i know other people are not as lucky which is why there was some demand to return to physical classes.

but at this point, it has been more than two years of online classes for me and despite my issues in the early days, i've come to treasure being able to rewatch classes and participate in my pyjamas. which feels like such a first-world problem but, the whole having to think about being presentable and leaving early enough from my hostel to make it to class in time, factoring the literal uphill walk to menara saas that takes the wind out of me before i even get to the learning and the wait for an elevator where only 1 out of 3 of them are operating, having to lug my laptop around with its charger every time, packing and unpacking it, looking for an outlet, all of this at the threat of not being admitted into the classroom if we're late to madam's class. it sucks. it just sucks.